Epiphanies

I got very excited when I realized I could use this as a title for this post. Here’s the reason:

Epiphany

1. capitalized : January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ

3.a (3) an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

Today is the feast of Epiphany, which is significant to me as a church organist. It’s the official end of the Christmas season (i.e., day 12 of Christmas, or the day when one famously received 12 drummers, 11 pipers, 10 lords…)

But also this first week of the new year has been a time of several realizations. And since tonight is the end of my winter break, it seems like a good time to reflect on them.

Music

Today I spent several hours taking a hike in the forest north of me. It was a lovely day of weather, and that’s where most of this post was developed. I recently started listening to The Original Cast, which almost seems tailor-made for me.

In this podcast, host Patrick Flynn brings on someone working in the theatre and asks them to reflect on a cast recording that has been formative for them somehow. This has the double impact of (a) getting into someone’s brain about how they think of the world and the art of musical theatre and (b) introducing the listener to dozens of cast recordings.

Those who know me know I’m a huge sucker for cast recordings. I have a spreadsheet of nearly 900 titles of musicals which I want to explore if at all possible. This has led me to search out obscure cast recordings or famous ones that I avoided or missed.

And yet just in the first 3 full episodes, 2 of them are recordings I’d never listened to before this afternoon. The original 1967 cast recording of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown and the 1995 cast recording of Hot Mikado. I highly recommend them both, but especially the second one.

Anyway, all this to say that listening to these discussions and soundtracks has reminded me of my love for musicals and the way they tell stories. I’m more excited for my next opportunity to work on a show, which I hope is coming soon.

Organ

Most of my attention this winter has been on my work as an organist. Since taking on the job at Advent Lutheran Church right at the start of the church calendar, I’ve weathered one of the busiest musical seasons at the church. On Christmas Eve I was responsible for 12 hymns (a typical service has 5-6) plus completely different sets of prelude, offertory, and postlude music for a piano driven service as well as an organ-driven service. The following week I played a lessons-and-carols service containing another 11 hymns.

I’ve grown tremendously as an organist in just a few weeks. My confidence has built and my interest in the finer points of playing has increased. As I noted on Instagram a couple days ago, I am finally starting to feel musical, not just technical.

I hope to keep playing as I go. I know that the congregation and leaders at Advent have been very complimentary about my work, and I am very gratified for the feedback.

Personal

Everyone asks for New Year’s resolutions. My stock response this year has been “I don’t do resolutions; I do plans.” What I mean by that is that I don’t vaguely commit to something. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it for real. Which means I need a specific goal (SMART goals, anyone?) and a process. This year I’m working to fall more in love with processes. Consistency is more important than anything else.

That’s why on Instagram I’m logging a #100daysofpractice challenge, plus I’m making a plan every week for workouts. I don’t feel bad that I’m not working out every day because I know when my next workout will be.

I’m tracking my budget, which is encouraging me to eat more at home. In fact, last night I made tacos with a homemade salsa which was lovely. If I can fall in love with that kind of thing more, I’m in great financial shape. I need to be saving more.

So if I buy into the “word of the year” trend, mine for 2019 is CONSISTENCY. If it matters, it’s worth doing regularly.

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That should apply to posting here some too. But we’ll see. For now, I’ll continue to post as I’m inspired.

Paying My Dues

One thing that regularly gnaws at me is envy. I'm sure this is not unusual, but it's the topic of what I want to write today.

I know I'm not the only person who sees other people's lives or accomplishments or celebrations on Facebook (weddings, awards, graduations, etc.) and feels a little inadequate. "Why don't I have anything like that going on?"

It's all well and good to be reminded that social media isn't real life but it is a kind of real life. Most people don't completely make stuff up on social media. What we do on social media is selectively reveal what we want to. For example, I've had a policy for years of only posting when I had something positive to say.

But I wanted to take a moment to complain to remind myself of common sense.

The thing that all of my successful friends have in common is that they put in work. When someone builds a successful business, it's because she put in hours behind the scenes. Someone who receives a great professional honor has worked hard to achieve that. We don't see the time and hours behind the scenes, unless we're looking carefully. But I know enough about these people to know that they deserve their success.

Me? Well, I'm sitting on my couch typing this up instead. I spent more time playing with Google Drawings yesterday morning than I did practicing piano all last week.

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No lasting success comes without work. I realize this in some parts of my life. I get that if my choir is going to be successful in April, we have to start working toward it in August. I get that if The Woodlands Chamber Music Project is going to grow, it will take work to reach out to the audience and to maintain correct records, etc. I know the singing on a musical I'm working on will take teaching and reteaching to be solid.

Where I can't seem to get it through my head is in the realm of personal development. I have lots of things I'd like to improve about myself, whether it's developing positive habits, learning new skills, or improving existing ones. I'd love to be a highly accomplished pianist, a master conductor, in shape, and with a consistent social life and professional reputation.

But when the time comes to work on those things, I balk. Rather than stepping forward into the challenge, I back off. Not from fear, but from lack of discipline. I want to be good, but I don't want to put in the work to get there. I'd rather skim Facebook for the dozenth time today than read a real book. I'd rather watch TV than go to the gym. I'd rather wander into my bedroom and read until I pass out at night than prepare myself for the next day. I'd rather sit on my couch and text friends than go out and try to meet new people.

If I want success, it's a matter of actually doing the thing. Regardless of whether I pick the best place to start, something is better than nothing, and that's where I am right now.

So now that I've talked myself into this, it's time to get some work done. I don't want to go to bed tonight with nothing to show for the day. And that should be true of every day.